it IS a phase, mom

There was a blooming spider

Went up a blooming spout

And down came the rain

And washed the spider out

Out came the sun

And dried up all the rain

But that bloody blooming son of a gun

Went up that spout again

The year ends. And as a woman with grit, softness, and dissociation, I have learned my lesson(s). 

Let me take you through them. These aren’t strictly 2024 lessons, of course—life’s upheaval is an arc that never completes a full circle, endlessly starting over—a process that began with the beginning of time—that I don’t have a grip on, yet.

1. My true kink is true love.

2. Just start with one step. Then the next, then the next, rest, change the pace, then the next. Get up. Move. It will make you feel better. 

3. He is asleep. Let it go. 

4. He is asleep. Send that long text, tell him how you feel, let it go. 

5. I do not wish to be a ‘woman on the go’. Woman on the couch, woman on the rest, woman is knocked out.

6. Two roads diverged in the woods. I, however, went for a walk and then went home. I didn’t feel the need to make a decision in the woods. 

7. Nobody truly cares and everybody deeply does. Sometimes, it’s just as much of a bad day for them as it is for you. 

8. Do not be small to make someone in power feel bigger.

9. Love knocks on your door in many forms. There’s a tree in front of your house and it’s windy outside. Open your heart.

10. Decenter men. Decenter men.

11. Fleabag was right. Hair. Is Everything. 

12. It reveals itself only in stillness, never in haste. As slow as possible. 

13. Embrace the grief wholly, for as long as it takes, to create space for joy. You must create space for joy. 

14. The world is violent and mercurial - it will have its way with you. It's not a commentary on how well you take a punch.

15. Hope isn't romantic. Hope has blood on her knuckles.

16. Building a person inside you who truly understands you will tear your heart apart. Brace yourself for impact.

17. Eat the cookie. Have one more. Offer it to the person sitting next to you. 

18. Do not underestimate the power of upper body strength. 

19. Focus on everyday rituals. “How you spend your days is how you spend your life.” You are free to include a backflip post breakfast. 

20. Impermanence does not mean insignificance.

21. Buying that coat will make you feel happy, sure, but for exactly 1 hour. I never said don’t buy it, though. 

22. If you have to make a choice, choose kind over smart. 

23. Gossip more often. It prevents dementia, it keeps the status quo in check. 

24. You just need to live in a walkable city. It’s not that deep. 

Love,

K

Phoebe.